LEARN TO LEARN ABOUT YOU

Knowing Yourself Is The Beginning Of All Wisdom – Aristotle

Sometimes you just have to step back and take in the whole scene to get a better view of a situation. Learning to know yourself better is a bit like that. And, in all reality, it really is where every change has to begin. It all starts with the man, or woman, in the mirror. Choose to take the time to Know Yourself Well first and the ‘real’ changes that need to be made will slowly begin to reveal themselves.

What a wonderful way to start…. With a simple choice!

The problem is most people never think to stop and ‘self examine’ before they try and make desired changes. They just listen to the latest trend and leap, hoping for the best. Unfortunately, that approach rarely works.

A far better plan is to make a plan. Step back and truly take a good, long, honest look at the reflection in the mirror. Forget what you’ve read on the internet, ignore the latest trends and stop reading emails from ‘experts’ that can fix any problem you have. They can’t. But you just might!

Here at AllNaturWell we believe in Therapeutic Journaling as a tool for self discovery and self betterment The truth is that when it comes to learning to learn about you, the best person to talk with and observe is yourself. The best way to study those findings is to have a record of them. Journaling provides this. Not only will you discover the good, the bad and the ugly about yourself, but you will discover the deeper things that gave birth to these characteristics and habits. And from these discoveries you will also know what habits to retain and which ones would be best to eliminate.

You will also discover what makes you unique.

LEARN TO LEARN ABOUT YOU

Knowing Yourself is the Beginning of All Wisdom.

Sometimes all it takes is just a few, small changes to set the wheels of whole self wellness and improved personal health into motion. (And by the way, that’s the order in which this truly happens. Not the other way around. Improved personal heath develops as whole self wellness evolves.)

But anyway, even the smallest of changes can sometimes be easier said than done. After all, we are definitely creatures of habit. Unfortunately, some of those life long habits are keeping us – shall we say – less than at our best – and self imprisoned where we are.

Likewise we know that the changes need to be made – most likely – sooner than later. But exactly how does one begin making those small, but necessary, changes in the fast paced, habit laced world we’ve, over time, created for ourselves? And, more importantly, when you are set in those ways and just can’t seem to make, or stick to, a plan. You know you should, and maybe you could, but how, and where, do you start.

Know Yourself Well First

Well, here at AllNaturWell, we believe in starting small. We also believe you have to Know Yourself Well first. And not necessarily just things in your past, although all of your present habits obviously began there. And it’s not altogether about your future dreams or desires (just yet). It’s about right now. Today. And the realization that you must first CHOOSE to start making changes to improve your over all well being and health. Your body, your mind and your spirit. And, to our way of thinking, learning to learn about you, Knowing Yourself Well first, is the right place to begin.

Because, honestly, you probably don’t know you as well as you might think!

Understanding Habit

Understanding What ‘Creature of Habits’ Means

Before we begin, let’s get an understanding of what ‘habit’ and ‘creature of habit’ actually means. Because most people know what the word means,  but don’t really know to what extent these little idiosyncrasies may contribute to their day to day lives, it’s important to discover which ones are good and keep-able or bad and dismissible. Discovering these, and adjusting them (or locking them in as helpful and/or acceptable) is an important part of your personal self discovery journey. And the perfect way to discover them and determine their importance or detriment

Simply put, a habit is a routine of behavior(s) that is repeated regularly and tends to occur (semi)subconsciously. Habitual behavior often goes unnoticed by the person exhibiting it, because a person does not tend to engage in ‘self-analysis’ when undertaking routine tasks. Researcher Wendy Wood found that approximately 43% of daily behaviors are performed out of ‘habit’. Nearly half of every day is spent on robotic, detached, auto pilot. Behavioral’ patterns, that we repeat over and over again, become imprinted in neural pathways that become automatic or habitual.

‘Creatures of habit’ are individuals who repeat the same activities in the same order over and over again without actual thought given the action. This can be anything from taking the same route to work each day to having the same breakfast every morning. It has been said that creatures of habit are more successful and productive because they are able to focus on their ‘tasks’ without having to worry about making decisions. They simply trust habit.

For some, being a creature of habit can be a good thing. Having a routine can help to relieve stress and provide structure to the day. It can also reduce the amount of time spent on mundane tasks and free up energy to focus on more important things. Having a set routine can also help to keep a person organized, as they know what needs to be done and when. These are called ‘good habits’ by some.

On the other hand however, being a creature of habit can also have its drawbacks. For example, if someone is too set in their ways and unwilling to try new things, they may miss out on opportunities or experiences that could make them happier, healthier and more successful in their personal endeavors. Additionally, it can be difficult to be creative or innovative when stuck in the same routine.

Overall, it is important to find a balance between being a creature of habit and being open to new experiences. It is important to remember that some things never change and that it is important to stick to the routine that works for you. At the same time, it is important to be willing to try new things and keep an open mind. This can help to keep things fresh and exciting and provide you with more opportunities to grow.

Understand that mindfulness can replace mindless ‘auto pilot’ and unhealthy habits can be replaced with more desired ones. By the same token, the same mindfulness can keep those productive, healthy habits in tact.

Where Do You Begin

Facing the Woman in the Mirror

Sometimes you just have to step back and take in the whole scene to get a better view of a situation. Learning to know ourselves better is a bit like that. And, in all reality, it really is where every change has to begin.

It all starts with the man, or woman, in the mirror. Choose to take the time to Know Yourself Well first

and the ‘real’ changes that need to be made will simply reveal themselves.

What a wonderful way to start…. With a simple choice!

Make A Choice

The problem is most people never think to stop and ‘self examine’ before they try and make desired changes. They just listen to the latest trend and leap, hoping for the best. Unfortunately, that approach rarely works.

A far better plan is to make a plan. Step back and truly take a good, long, honest look at the reflection in the mirror. Forget what you’ve read on the internet, ignore the latest trends and stop reading emails from ‘experts’ that can fix any problem you have. They can’t.

But you can!

Simply CHOOSE to learn about yourself. Self examine – and honestly ‘see’ the real you. Then choose to make the small changes, whether that be making or breaking habits, one small step at a time, that will naturally begin to morph you, one day at a time, into the person you truly want, and can, be.

It’s All A Choice

Choosing to ‘learn about you’ is an important (and not nearly as easy as it sounds) first step toward achieving personal contentment, happiness, inner peace and whole self wellness and health. Likewise, it’s a great way to recognize certain aspects about yourself that already make you unique. Never forget that you are indeed a wonderful and NECESSARY creature in this world. And you deserve to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. But, like so many, we have somehow, somewhere along the way, become someone – by way of our long lived beliefs and habits perhaps – that does not necessarily give us either health or happiness. In fact, may actually bring depression, confusion, regret and bad health. And none of us deserves any of that. Including you! So choose change and let the morphing begin.

A Solo Journey

Simply CHOOSE to begin to learn about you. And don’t select a date on the calendar. Don’ pick next Monday. Start right where you are. Right here. Right now! Begin this very moment to start learning to learn about you!

And start with this question. Do you truly want to know you?

Are you sure that taking this journey of ‘self exploration’, ‘self discovery’, is a task you are up to? Contraire to what everyone wants to make you believe, it’s not an easy thing to do. You can expect to release smiles, tears, regrets, shame, laughter, pride, embarrassment and any number of emotions, some of which you may not be able to readily accept about who you have been in your past or who you portray yourself as now. But that’s okay. After all, it’s why you are here. To find the real you, the person you always truly were and are now choosing to bring to the surface.

It’s important to understand as well that this is a ‘solo journey’. Again, others will insist that it is a journey you can take with others at your side. It’s not! Oh, don’t get me wrong, you can definitely share with friends and family what you intend to do. And you may even enlist their ‘help’, thinking it will improve your odds of success. But, honestly, you will quickly learn that it does not. And in fact, will most likely aid in your failure.

“Please help me stop chewing my nails,” you may say to your sister for example. “I really want long, beautiful nails like those I admire on others at my office.” Well guess what sweetie, your sister can do nothing to keep you from gnawing away at your finger nails save but to sit on you or tie your wrists behind your back. And, I can safely say, that’s not likely to happen. And in fact would not really fix the problem anyway. I promise as well,  that those long beautiful nails would not create the peace or happiness you are truly seeking. BUT –  discovering WHY you habitually chew your nails just might get you closer. Figure out why you insist on chewing your nails and remove the ‘trigger’ that causes it and you will find improved well being (body, mind and spirit) AND you will have better nails to boot! Now that’s a win-win for you and a first step in the right direction.

Likewise, it is unlikely someone will be putting a leash around your neck and dragging you along behind them on an ‘every evening’ walk that you insist ‘they need’ to make ‘you do’ everyday so that you can lose 20 pounds. Again, that is just not how this works! Learn this quickly. It must be about you, for you and BY you. Again, you can do this with someone, or many if you wish, but the bottom line is that YOU DO IT FOR YOU no matter what excuses others may produce.

Realize (and adopt) that no one can make you honest, trustworthy, mindful, caring, health conscious, kind or happy. Likewise they can’t make you obese, a drunk, mean, a liar, depressed, uncaring, etc. At the end of the day, it’s you and only you! So make sure you understand that first. This is a one way hike with only you! So first ask yourself: Do I really want to know me? Do I really want to be the person I was meant to be? Can I really start changing while explaining to no one? Because it’s the only way to go. Solo.

How Do You Begin Learning About You

Journaling is the only way to go, as far as we are concerned. It’s as close to talking to yourself as you can get but with the benefit of remembering what you thought, felt and did say,or do, at the time. And understand that each of these ‘actions’ is as important as the other. What you thought, what you felt and what you said (or how you reacted) explains a lot about yourself.

For example: A co-worker (you know only slightly) walked in to the office dressed in an outlandish, god awful outfit, but obviously felt very good about herself. What did you instantly think? (OMG! What the heck was she thinking this morning? Or maybe you smiled, wishing you could have such a happy, confident spirit all the time.)

Another co-worker (one you know better but don’t necessarily connect with) then walked up to you and whispered sarcastically about the outfit. What did you feel? Did your mind instantly change from ‘omg’ to ‘what makes the difference’? (Or maybe the other way around?) Or did you instantly agree (your mind suddenly made up by the other persons attitude – that may not have actually been your thought at all) with equal sarcasm? Did you instantly defend the unaware co-worker, reminding the person it doesn’t matter what she has on, she is obviously cheerful and happy? Or did you laugh along weakly, even though you wanted to defend her but remained silent? How did you feel about yourself when the moment ended?

Now that may all seem a bit extreme, but here’s the point. Which person are you? Truly. Not the one you ‘portray’, but rather the deep down person you really are. (Were you jealous of her self confidence? Were you embarrassed for her? Were you impassive to it all until the other person stepped in with an opinion? Were you afraid to speak out at the other person’s rude remarks? Were you too weak to do anything else but to laugh along? Did you want to laugh too? (You get my point.)

Here’s the scary part. No answer is wrong as long as it’s YOUR truth. And that might mean coming to understand you are weak, easily led by others, insecure, etc. (Maybe a small change might be needed in this area.)

Hypothetically, play this one minute scenario in your mind (because that’s all the longer it took) and ask yourself who you truly are. Ask yourself why you thought, felt and responded in the fashion revealed.

Are you the person who saw an ugly dress or the one that saw the smile and happy spirit? Are you the person who said nothing while someone else made fun of another or the one that pointed out the positive. Are you the kind that goes along with ‘whatever’ silently when in reality you want to stand up? Can you say you were proud of yourself and the way you handled the moment after it had passed? Was your spirit content and proud of the way you thought, felt and reacted in these sixty seconds? Did you walk away mad at yourself wondering why you had said or reacted in a certain way knowing that in fact you didn’t feel that way at all?

It sounds simple but in reality it is not. Yet these are the moments that reveal the most about you – to you. (Try to understand as well that every day of your life is made up of multitudes of ‘moments’ like the one described.)

The small changes needed can also create the largest challenges to most. However, they are likewise the ones that create the greatest rewards. What I mean by that is that learning (and actually ‘allowing’ is the correct word) ‘allowing’ yourself to be exactly who you are in every ‘moment’ will give you such natural, inner peace that you will (subconsciously maybe) begin instantly morphing into the ‘real’ you. Just one small shift, and I do mean tiny (like simply reacting or not reacting) will start an avalanche of changes only you may realize are happening. And it will probably be your spirit that will morph first. Inner peace is divine and addicting. And, once you are over that line, you will long for it.

So start by asking yourself a few tough questions. As you are writing about your day, ask yourself (and actually write the question out) why did I say that? What was I actually feeling? Why did I get so angry? Why did I lie about that? You get the idea. Then answer those questions honestly.

Understand first that each of us has been so firmly conditioned by our past experiences (both good and not so good) that we tend to act, and react, out of unconscious ‘habits’ that we have adopted over the years as our own, that are not necessarily true about the ‘real’ self and do not actually bring any lasting happiness, true inner peace or personal whole self wellness. So be brutally honest, but don’t judge yourself too hard if you discover some negative things about yourself in this little experiment. A few small changes will set you back on the right course. It’s why you are here.

The secret here is to ‘think’ on each question and then ‘talk to the man in the mirror’ to get to a ‘real’ answer, which may or may not be the one that comes first to mind. Answering these questions may take days to decide, rather than minutes or hours. And that’s okay. After all, self exploration is a journey you should take mindfully, honestly and with patients.

Plus it can be both exciting and rewarding. Self awareness, mindful self respect and true to self living can bring whole self wellness and health to anyone who simply CHOOSES it.

Start By Spending Quality Time With You

Start by spending ‘calculated and well planned’ quality time with yourself. It is a perfect next step in the right direction when it comes to learning about the real you. And I am not talking about the time you spend doing laundry or cleaning the house. I’m talking about time spent mindfully enjoying your own company for the sole sake of enjoying you.

Sounds easy, right? Well, if you’ve never done it before, it’s not as simple as one might think. In fact, you might find it quite difficult at times. But it really is the next step in self discovery, whole self wellness and quite literally, self freedom.

So start simple. Block off one half hour everyday for seven days to start your journey. Turn off the TV (forever! – it’s very bad for your whole self wellness and even worse for your health! – but that’s another post), turn off the music, turn off your cell phone and shut out the world. Go to your hygge place and sit quietly for thirty minutes. Glance through your favorite magazine. Sip your favorite coffee or tea. Enjoy the view from your window. Write in your journal (we will get to that in a minute). Day dream a bit. Count your blessings. Talk to God. Watch the rain fall. (You get the idea.) Be right there, with you, mindfully living in those moments! Nothing else matters.

Now this is important! Do not sit there and worry about the bills, the laundry, the next meeting you have to attend. Don’t fuss over the disagreement you had with a sibling or stew over the reprimand you got at work. This is about being with you. Let everything go for thirty minutes. Just breath. Relax. The world will wait. Trust me. It will be right there when you come back to it. However, it will not be as heavy as it was before. And it will keep getting lighter as you learn to take ‘planned’ time with you.

Journal Your Way Straight To You

Journaling is simply recording of your thoughts and feelings throughout a day. There are no rules to be followed and no right or wrong way of getting it done. But it should be done daily and as close to the same time every day as possible to give the greatest benefits.

This will be the very first small change you make. Promise yourself 365 days. If, after that, you decide it’s not for you, you can at least say you gave it your best shot and honored your own words to yourself.

Now let’s talk journals for a moment, because this too is important. You can write on darn near anything. A laptop – which I do not suggest. I honestly believe that writing out your words with pen in hand is more therapeutic than having spell check correcting your every imperfection. (We kind of like knowing our slight imperfections don’t necessarily define or condemn us.) You can write in a note book, and that’s fine when you are just starting out, but I suggest that you search out your own flavor of journal. (My favorite is shown above and elsewhere on this page.) I prefer this journal because I came to realize that as I recorded my personal life, my honest thoughts, dreams, emotions, fears, accomplishments, failures, regrets and gratitudes, I began liking the feel of it in my hands. I liked holding the thick volume that patiently waited to receive my pen and every heart felt word that came with it. It was strong yet movable. Worn, yet with a look of wisdom, something I trusted, soft yet tough enough not to break. There was just something about it that became so trusting and familiar, that I looked forward to telling it just absolutely everything. Honestly and without shame or regret. (And, in all fairness, after a few months, knowing it was laying there by the bed waiting to ‘hear’ all about MY day, somehow made me more mindfully aware of my emotions, my actions and my reactions throughout the day. Strange as it may sound, I did not want to write anything I would be ashamed of in that book ‘about me’. I wanted only to record wonderful, happy messages.

Of course, that did not happen. I recorded everything and we all know life is not all peaches and cream and we are all imperfect creatures. But I will admit, the negative became less and less, the more I learned about me and started living MY life according to MY values (which I was discovering), my ideals (which I began developing) and my desires (which seemed to slowly reveal themselves). Choosing ME over everything transformed me little by little and I could see it happening by writing in this favorite journal. You will too. It becomes a part of you, unlike a notebook or your computer. So definitely seek out that journal that feels perfect in your hands. (I reveal journals throughout this site so definitely take a look at them.) In the mean time however, grab a notebook and start recording your daily walk today.

You may also be interested in the articles below

1.)Identify Unhealthy Habits: There are three main components to habit formation: the context cue, behavioral repetition and the reward. By learning to recognize these three components in your life, habit ‘triggers’ can be identified and changed. View Post

2.) Choose To Change: Whether you realize it or not, you have the power to become, or un-be, what ever you want. Everything about change is already in you. And everything about choice is already yours. Choice is your birthright. Executing it is always within your power  View Post

3.) Create Your Plan and Work Your Plan for Change: By creating a specific plan of actionable steps, your process will be far less stressful, easier to execute and totally traceable. If you find yourself slipping or veering off-track, and you will, having a sound, workable plan, will allow you to quickly refocus and begin again. Start with these 5 steps